Friday, September 19, 2014

Curvy thick slim body

So I time and time again consider working out and getting the body I actually want. It never really works, well it does but.

Here's my thing I want a flat stomach, perfect ass, and have this fear of being too skinny. I like my thick thighs and how my curves meet each other but want that "perfect" fit.

It sucks because I actually consider investing in a personal trainer because they can help me to achieve that, they are there for your personal training after all. I just can't get past the fact that they'll have me bussing my ass and then I'm way to thin for my liking.

With my thick body I don't appear too tall which I adore because I always hated being so damn tall. I'm not one for the slim tall look. How do I figure this out! Hoping I can get blessed with a trainer that knows what they are doing and helps me get the results I want.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Pieces to him...

I just want to love someone as much as the sun, as the moon. Only if they are willing to fight for me and my love. I wanna be the first thing he thinks of in the morning even if I'm laying right beside him. Let me be parts of the sun to his morning, adorning me with his love. 

Allow me to be who I am without judging me by what society says. I want to take walks up mountains with him, while we watch the sunset together. I want to kiss his every flaw because I'll appreciate him more than his flaws. I want to be his best friend, the one who he shares his ups and downs. 

I want to take trips with him where our hearts desire. I wish to take him to the moon and back. I want to meet his mama and go to lunch with her like she's my own mother. I want her to love me and know that the love I have for her son can never be compared to her. I want us to spend holidays with each other's family. 

I just want to be his world. I want to fall in love so deep coming out isn't an option. I want to grow with him wherever he is in his journey, because I know it can be hard at times. I want to be the hand to hold and the shoulder to lean on when shit gets rough. 

Let him plant seeds of greatness in me letting them blossom into beautiful love beings. I want to share his last name and wear it with infinite love. I don't want to rush him but let's take it slow. As long as we both know where we want to go. Together alongside each other on our journey. 

I hope that one day I get to let him see this and tears full his eyes, because all along that's what he wanted. Maybe I'll read it to him on our wedding day or give it to him as a wedding gift. Whatever it is I want to be his forever, his life after death, his Universe.

I will learn to cook, clean, and wash for him; You know just the way he likes it. I'll massage his stress away because there is so much love in my fingers. Life will be like a roller coaster I'm sure, but I'll keep my seat belt buckled. Holding his hand even when we are upside down or being twisted from side to side. 

I know you are listening or thinking this and I want you to know that the Universe aligned this just for us. I love you and will forever love you. 

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Wait for you timing?

Honestly every day feels like I'm one step closer to a goal in life but in all actuality I feel like I am not moving enough. I started a business that I dreamed of, thought of almost all the time, but nothing much has come from it.

They say follow your dreams but what happens when you share those dreams with the world, they like it but they don't want to support it. You push as hard as you can to get it out and make a change in the world but you get back not much of a result or the result you wish to see.

Then you see others living their dreams and you get discouraged. You really can't help sometimes but wonder why it is they are getting to live all their dreams but you are stuck still merely dreaming. All you are told is stop looking to other peoples path for your own. How can I really not look at people who are living out there dreams and then some and not feel a bit discouraged. After you have yourself positive talk and time and time again the dream you wanted to live, well it is on life support or so it feels. 

Those people may have journeyed hard and long and are finally where they need to be I get that, but what the fvck am I not doing the right way. Why can't I even feel like I have one successful project. There are people out there coming up with ideas and immediately they take off and your sit here in the shadows. Feeling like when there sun rises higher you will just disappear. Like all the people who are struggling to live dreams but only left dreaming