Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The Lion

I met a guy this year that was like the rainbows of the sky. He adorned me with kisses. His presence it did something to me, it made me feel high. Almost as if it were ecstasy. We would go out on the town, he'd even listen to what my heart desired. It was the simple things that made me appreciate him. The way we connected was like the Universe had conspired our meeting all along. We'd talk for hours simply about nothing. We'd enjoy each other's presence from a distance. He went away one day and he came back and we often spoke of dreams together. His touch it heightened my every sense because there was something different about him. I was confused to whether I had found my King. He pretty much seemed like it because he was...Leo a lion. He protected my every care and he made me feel like nothing in this world could harm me. He held me close and not even tried to come close to my flower. Though I know he envisioned that my flower would bloom with and for him. As every man does. I felt like a Queen protected and yearned by a King. He as I a language of love through touch. It felt so right. He'd make plans of how we would create a kingdom and how I was perfect. How I would be an example to the greatness to come. How his family would be open to me apart of them. How I would be great by his side. We spoke of us connecting on a different level. I was hesitant but, I obliged. I allowed him to be my King, but that Leo he left. I've missed him ever since. He felt like perfection on a bright sunny day and his presence felt like the light of the moon on a dark night. It was like warmth to my soul but, that warmth left. It left with the marks of love, that lion left in my heart. 

Making efforts


• try at holistic living
• become more in tune with self
• appreciate my beauty; take more pics of myself.
• manifest my ideas
• get this person to stop blowing their god damn horn outside my house
• find ways to better my writing
• find a way to have another source of income
• network with amazing people
• find a good mentor
• find a mentee
• decorate my room more; it's so bland
• trust my intuition
• save some money
• attract good love


Sunday, November 24, 2013

Holistic ish

I am completely intrigued by the ability to live a holistic lifestyle. I keep seeing women on social media showing their recipes and the great benefits of living life the healthier way. I even tried the life out for 7 days. I had seen before that many try the vegan life and how they go about it, so I put myself to the test!!

When I tell you it was SUPER HARD!!

Trying to find alternatives to eat besides seafood or fish was just a hassle. I felt like I pretty much had no options. Though, I must say I was lucky enough to try something new and it was really good. Not eating cheese and not eating seafood was like torture. Though, it felt pretty good at the same time.

The only thing that was the issue was that I would substitute high carb items for the food I wasn't eating. That is totally not the way to go though. :-/

And I actually gave in after day 6.... I ate some mac and cheese and had some fish. I really think it is way too soon for me to actually give up fish and seafood. Oh and cheese! I love cheese.

So for the time being I will do more research and pretty much take it slowly. I will pretty much work on my self and grow with myself and what the Universe is giving me as I go along. I have found though that in terms of me getting in tune with my mind has been quite good. I have been doing well with my thoughts as well as just doing more and working on being great.

Holistic living isn't easy for the beginner but I can say that many are doing it so I can surely do the same. Just waiting on the Universe to guide my steps and my greatness.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Condo Life

I have always had a fascination with Condo's and lets just take it to another level. I'm going to share my obsession with you all. Think of this as my vision board that is intended to be a vision for you if you like condo's.

Source: wexzilla

Source: homeizy

These were the few I found searching online.. Super swoon! I'm here like I just want to make some money and own a Condo or two or three.  Do some renting in two and have one that I can go to when I am ready and have a house somewhere cute. 

I say meet some one start a family in my condo then move to a house. You know the family type thang, then we can visit the condo or I can just visit it when I need some alone time or whatever the case may be. Doesn't this life look amazing? I just have to have it, and you know what I will. Some day soon I will have this and more. 


Thursday, November 21, 2013

Fall in love

You know the usual, everyone is either getting engaged, married, or pregnant!! Yea this shit is getting to be a drag. Then you have people telling you oh, once your 25 you will know exactly what you want and how things are supposed to be will be set for you. WHAT!! 

I'm here just living life but I want to fall in love. I mean I fell in love once but it was not the best reasons to fall in love. More like fell in lust maybe, I guess... I pretty much still love and care about the person but whatever with them. People here talking about they are in love and shit meanwhile I'm here like I feel like I'm 25 and it's not easy. I promise I have soooooo much love to give but the right person has not received it yet. Im sure they are out there some where, but it feel as if it's taking too long. I know patience, yea its's a virtue. As well as the simple fact that we can't rush God's timing but dang. I just want to love someone. 

My love! YO!! It's so big and it can fill the hearts of a million people. It's crazy how the one's that probably won't understand it and appreciate it at the moment need it the most. Don't forget the people who just straight out don't give a crap about your love. 

Why is it that love is so complicated??
Why is it that humans are so different (especially males and females)??

It's always women are so hard to understand and men are so complicated!! I mean there has to be a reason for all of this! 

When living life and dating seems harder that just giving someone your love, yea that's when things just  get confusing. When men and women have been programmed to think that sex is the end all and be all. Well it kinda is because you have to procreate, but damn. 

The world is pretty damaged and damnit, I want to love!!


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Dear Life

You haven't been easy and I'm understanding that this is simply part of my journey. Some days it feels worst than it ever does and I try to understand that. Really what is life without the highs and lows?

Why does media and everything else make us think that you are supposed to be perfect. Shit, I want that "perfect" stuff. Life why aren't you perfect?? 

I want to be able to love myself unconditionally. 
I want to have a career I LOVE!
I want to meet some pretty awesome people.
I want to be healthy.
I want to feel like the prettiest girl in the world(I used to feel that some days but now it's been hard).
I want to meet an amazing man.
I want to connect with him ^ and it feel like I'm on top of the world.
I want to get married on a beach.
I want to own a people living space.
I want to have 3-4 children.
I want to teach them everything I know and more.

I just want you to be perfect life. FUCK!

I wish that outside sources didn't affect who we are and what we desire to become. Often times we want what others have and don't appreciate what we are given by the higher being. It's not easy, but it seems like it.

Life I'm just asking you to guide me in the right direction. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Is writing for me?

Sometimes I feel like I'm not a good enough writer. It feels like maybe I should give up on this dream of being a great blogger. I mean I enjoy it but I don't love it enough to write every day. There are women who write amazing pieces with lots of great content, but me...I've been told I don't write enough. Though, for me I know I don't always want to read a blog post that's super long. I just don't have the attention span. Especially if the post is something that doesn't interest me with some visuals and shit.

I'm a visual person for crying out loud. I just want to make great shit and be great but it seems so hard in a world where you feel like your enthusiasm isn't what it needs to be. 

This shit has me considering taking a break from writing. Maybe come back for the new year or maybe not. How about I take a whole year of come 2014...maybe.

Ugh I don't know I'm considering taking a break from my other blog and just devoting my time to building a better me and documenting it. 

Maybe the world is not ready for what I have to offer. Maybe I'm just not ready. It's not hard but it sure as hell ain't easy. 

Fuck I just want to be great! 

Friday, November 1, 2013

BFF for 500, please!

Recently, I've been trying to align myself with good people. Eliminating those that don't belong and limiting time with those who I feel I am a blessing to. It's not easy I tell yah. 

I just want to network with people like me; Damnit!! I always feel like I'm way different than the ultimate professionals, girls who are super into fashion who dress amazing, or the hippies who wear cute floral items who live carefree. Some days I feel that I am a mixture of all that put together even though I don't want to be exactly. 

So where the hell do I fit in? Where will I find people like me?

You know everyone has that best friend they've known for umpteen years who they can call or be called upon by for anything. They relate to each other too almost the T. 

Yea, that's the friendship I want. Many of my "best friends", well there are none! I'm not sure if I was a bitter person why none of my friendships really lasted..I'm actually not a bad person. 

It's just now harder to trust these friendships today. It also gets much harder as you enter adulthood and if your the introvert like I am, well good luck to that.

Though, all of this bothers me I constantly push myself to get out and see different things, to be in the company of various people. Heck I even use my natural hair blog to meet people I'm genuinely interested in a friendship with. 

It never really happens! I just see em at events and ummm yea. Social networking!! 

Maybe the timing just isn't right, or when it was it was taken for granted or not used rightfully...WHO KNOWS!!

I'm just here struggling to make some meaningful friendships with people I can relate to!